I look around me now
Surrounded by
Healthy superfood preprepared salad containers
Plus one lone empty cheezels pack
Watching youtube.

Remembering the days
Of being surrounded by
Empty beer bottles, tequila bottles, vodka bottles
And McDonalds wrappers
After getting home at 3am
And crashing on the couch watching Rage
And drinking more
Until the birds started twittering
And the show finished.
Which told me,
It was time for bed.

Bed time now is dictated by exhaustion
I watch YouTube instead of rage
And I’m more likely to be surrounded
By empty salad containers
Than tequila bottles.

Sometimes it feels like a stark difference
But it isn’t
That younger chick version of me
Is still a part of me.
She’s not been subdued
Or worse, lost forever.
She just has to pick her times
And when she does,
She celebrates
Salad…and Tequila…

– Judi Reed, 2016