I used to think everyone had them
Now I don’t
Now I know they don’t.
Because some lack the capacity
Are devoid of such visceral depth of feeling
And others are too distant from themselves
To feel them

Those moments
When a thought, a feeling
Permeate your entire being
Take you away from what you
Consciously, logically believe

And you are raw
You feel the shiver
Going through your soul
That shiver
Of defeat

Tend to sit outside
Drink beer
And shiver, literally
In the cold air as the sun sets
(not that you can see it
because of the heavy cloud cover)

Allowing my rawness
Acknowledging my failings
And wonder
And how
I went so wrong

This is my penance
And my peace
For not being perfect.

– Judi Reed, 2015