That’s a hard one, I’ve been cynical for years, but quietly, secretly hopeful. And it’s not as simple as it first appears. I mean if you decide to enter into the realm, it’s easy in hindsight to see where that trust was given too esily, bcause you were trying to get over your trust issues, so you accepted and justified. All those red flags – I mean you don’t want to be unfair, after sll.

But then it gets more complicated as you go along, and you really do decide to trust – I’m talking about the trust that means you not only accept, but ask someone to handcuff you to the bedpost because you feel, without doubt they’re not going to hurt you, physically, emotionally, or mentally – In essence they’re not going to fuck you, except in the best possible way.

But then something happens. They don’t betray you in that situation, they are a decent bloke and you know that. But what you learn about a relationship, your relationship, a relationship you thought was transparent and honest, even though it felt like a mind fuck, turned out to actually a mind fuck, and you gave to that and fed it, even though you could see what was asked of you, was not something they were prepared or inclined to give themselves.

There was nothing you could take to the bank. Whether it was deliberate or not, which in some occasions it’s definitely not, but even so it still rips you in ways you never wanted to feel, because you believed in words, you believed in sentiment, that were only transient, and yet you committed yourself and resources to the belief in those.

Then you lose that trust, to let them tie you up, to be vulnerable around them, because you know, you gave, what they asked for, but they didn’t give back what they said they wanted. Leaving you open, empty, confused, and sometimes paralysed, not wanting to believe the actual truth, after such a long period of time, which had you had the truth along the way, you could have saved yourself from that pain, humiliation, and destruction of your fledgling self confidence.

Nothing is ever real.

It’s all about knowing which game you’re meant to be playing, and when.And there is an automatic shutting off point, whether you want it or not, where you know, that trust is gone – either temporarily or permanently. It just happens, in time, without the right backup.

Domination is easy if you have the qualities of respect and care, for your sub. Submission, no, that’s a gift that is fucking hard to give for many of us, and when you do, you trust – on all plains.

– Judi Reed, 2016